Brett Favre is the Anti-Christ (and other related information)

I fucking hate Brett Favre. There I said it, what are you going to do John Madden, you little bitch? I'm talking to you too Chris Berman, you fat, played out motherfucker. Why do I hate Brett Favre? Let me count the ways...

1) The media's insane obsession with him, it's to the point where he can do no wrong. If he throws a pass off his back foot 40 yards downfield into triple coverage? It is just Brett being a "gunslinger," if he rockets a ball to his fullback standing three feet from him in the flat? That's just his gunslinger mentality. He still makes rookie mistakes despite playing in the NFL for 14 years, yet receives nothing but compliments from the talking heads. The fact that he continues to hold on to the last shreds of his career even though it is crippling his team because they can never re-build with him around is cited as proof of his passion for the game, when in fact it is little more than selfishness. He is probably worried that if he doesn't have football he will just spend all day taking pain medication like the junkie he is. Fuck Brett Favre, he has been sucking up the N.F.L. for far too long. It's not even a Willie Mays situation where everybody should be sad for him. He is just a huge douche and has always been overrated. I never liked him when he was "good" because he was just a big fish in a little pond, and he liked it that way because all those obese Wisconsinites stroked his ego like no other.

2) I hate Brett Favre because he got paid $10 million last year to throw 29 interceptions and lead his team to a 4-12 record. And yet despite that he was given an 88 overall rating in Madden and will fuck your shit up every time, with his goddamn QB vision stretching all the way from Green Bay to his dilapidated shanty home in Mississippi that may or may have been destroyed by that racist bitch Katrina.

3) Brett Favre is 2-5 in the postseason since 1998. Talk about big time players stepping up when it matters most. He fucking threw SIX interceptions in a blowout loss to the Rams in 2001 and yet that was the same year in which he signed a "lifetime contract" with the Packers and became the first player in NFL history to receive a $100 million dollar contract. Really? Brett Favre deserved to be the highest paid player in NFL history, does that make sense to anyone besides fat Green Bay sluts?

4) Everybody seems to forget that Brett Favre, the super-competitor that he is, laid down like a bitch and let Michael Strahan mount him in order to record the all-time single season sack record (above). If Michael Vick had done this people would have been all up in arms about how records should have integrity and all this bullshit. But since it was Favre it was alright. In a revelation that sheds some light on the situation, a rumor has surfaced in the past couple years that Strahan may be gay, or at least bi-sexual. This clears up any confusion about what Favre got out of the deal. But the question remains... is he a giver or a taker?

5) When asked if he was going to help mentor a young QB, in this case Aaron "Soul Patch" Rodgers, Favre basically said it wasn't his job to help young players, his job was to play football. He said it as smugly as possible and was completely serious in that he wanted no part of teaching Rodgers. Wrong dickhead, while your job may be to play football (which you don't do very well anyway so you should be fired) you are also a veteran in a position to help someone as I'm sure you were helped centuries ago, so just be a good guy and give the kid a few pointers.

6) Most of all I hate the on again, off again, I will retire, I won't retire, I'll think about it drama that goes on for the entire NFL offseason. Shit or get off the pot motherfucker. If I hear one more story about Brett Favre's possible retirment I am going to break that pussy's hip.

I fucking hate Brett Favre.

Other people I hate:

Stephen A. Smith- Shut the fuck up already. Get off the air and crawl back to the shit-hole you came from. EVERYTHING YOU FUCKING SAY IS NOT IMPORTANT! Despite how loudly you may yell it. And naming your gay show after an annoying phrase you mutter constantly is not creative, it is just stupid.

Joe Buck- Just an arrogant prick living off his daddy's name. Getting all flustered because Randy Moss PRETENDED to moon the crowd isn't being the mature voice of reason, it is just proving that you are a little queer who grew up with playing with dolls and calling boys gross .

Shaquille O'Neal- I fucking hate garbage ass Shaq. He has been playing professional basketball for 17 years (counting college) and has yet to develop anything that could be confused as a basketball skill. How is that even possible? If you were to give any person on earth that combination of size and quickness they would be in the same position he is, likely higher, because they wouldn't be, you know, retarded. Not working hard even though you are getting paid $25 million a year makes you a giant waste of god-given ability in my book. And on top of that you make shitty movies and even shittier rap songs. The thing I hate most is that he thinks he is so fucking hilarious, even though his lame-ass jokes are only being laughed at by nerdy sportswriters who are just happy to be around a non-threatening black man. "That Shaq, he's a hoot isn't he, so quick to smile, and he is just so darn witty." The people that laugh at him are the same people who laugh at Carrot Top. Shaq is just a big pile of retarded shit, and yet thinks he is fucking Mel Brooks or something. Learn how to shoot a 3 foot jump shot you stupid fuck.

Kobe Bryant- Since they are forever linked, I will also put them together. I am not sure who I hate more. My raging contempt is nearly equal for both, but if I had to choose one I think it'd be have to be Kobe. His cockiness is almost unparalleled in sports (an amazing thing to think about), as well as his pussiness. I have never seen somebody so suited for the NBA. He can do as much dirty shit as he wants without fear of repercussions because the league protects its stars to such an insane degree. But take one look at his fight with Chris Childs and you'll see what I'm talking about. Not to mention he is attempting to ruin the game of basketball. His selfishness is almost shocking at times, even by NBA standards. I think he is perfectly content to lead the league in scoring with crappy teammates because the he gets all the publicity and can blame them for the losses. It's win-win for him. Everytime I see him play and have to watch his punk-ass mannerisms it makes me want to punch the TV. Raja Bell did the world a service by clotheslining him. I seriously applauded. But then he stood up and "brushed" off his shoulders and dragged me back into his world of douchebaggery. Not to mention he used to be the media's squeaky clean bitch and spoke Italian while pitching his ugly-ass shoes, then got charged with rape and immediately transformed himself. He got a tattoo, started wearing Ice, and started acting black. He is the fakest bitch I've ever seen.